“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~ E.E. Cummings
Last week I took a big step out of my comfort zone and a big step
forward in Evan’s journey. I enrolled him in our district’s summer school
program. Evan will go to a different elementary school and he will interact
with new kids. These facts send up two enormous red flags in my mind:
- A new setting will mean new hazards to learn and navigate around. While this may not seem like a big deal for many kids, it is for Evan. He has balance issues stemming from poor eye-sight, impaired hearing, kyphosis (curvature of his spine) and fused neck vertebrae, and toes that don’t bend. All of these issues prevented Evan from walking until he was age four. At age seven, he is still falling and needing considerable assistance walking, especially in environments that are new or have been changed unexpectedly.
- New classmates will mean new questions about Evan’s unique appearance. Although his endearing personality is a friend magnet, one never knows which way the pendulum will swing. So far the kids who know Evan are very sweet with him. I’ll say prayers every night that the new kids this summer will embrace Evan and treat him with the same kindness that he exudes.
Before last week I wasn’t even considering summer school as an option. I
gravitate towards protecting Evan at home as much as possible. But Evan is
getting older and stronger and he needs more outside stimulation to grow. I
have watched him struggle with math in first grade and I had started thinking
about ways to propel his learning forward this summer.
Some things happened last week that made me feel like the universe is
nudging us along in our journey. A new book, The Able Life of Cody Jane, came into my life and took a hold of
me. It is a true story so captivating and masterfully told that it is hard to
put down. The author Marly Cornell tells her story of her experiences with her
daughter Cody Jane who was born with Spina Bifida. www.theablelife.com
The theme of independence resonated with me throughout this story: Cody’s quest to be an independent
thinker and doer and Marly’s quest to help her daughter achieve this independence.
The stories of Cody going to summer camp amazed me. Not only did they amaze me,
they woke me up. The time has come to move out of our safe zone and help Evan
begin to develop his sense of independence.
A few days ago I went to Evan’s school and talked to his principal. We brainstormed
things that could be done to continue his learning this summer. She agreed that
summer school would only be possible for him if he had para support (an assistant).
With one phone call she arranged for that support and I signed Evan up for his
first summer school experience. It just so happened that this was the day summer
school enrollment closed. How’s that for timing?
When I told Evan that he would be going to summer school,
he did a happy dance and asked if he could use a ruler there.
I wrote to my friend Marly, “Your book inspired me to do this.” Marly wrote back, “Juggling
protectiveness and the important independence issues is always a struggle. But
it gets easier as you see how he loves it and gets stronger in various ways.”
Who will actually have the harder struggle? Evan is being Evan the only
way he has ever known – excited to get out, to do new things, and make new
friends. I am the one imagining the worst and praying for the best.
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